The Little Richard Theory

I was at the beach yesterday, and amongst other things i inadvertantly encountered a gay guy. Now, I have no problem with gay or lesbian people, thats not what this is about; no, but i was almost held hostage while i was tanning by this guys insistence that he had to take a shit. Let me make this clear, this was an unmistakably gay guy talking about something a guy would talk about with his guy friends. Except, he was telling this to the 3 girls that came with he and this other guy. As i sit there and listen to this barrage language involving shit, deadlines, and a ridiculous over the top gay accent, the preverbial lightbulb flickered on in my head. I noticed that this particular homosexual was, well, he was a fat fucker to be blunt, and by he accent he was a flaming poo-pusher, so could it be that a gay man's level of gayness is directly proportional to his weight? Is it possible that a 1,000 pound man would be the gayest man to ever live? I immediatly dubbed this the Dom Deluise Theory, but since he was neither gay or gayer than Lil Richard this was quickly becoming a wholly theory. Then it hit me, the Little Richard Postulate. Everyone agrees that Little Richard is the Alpha as far as gay people are concerned, so he is the zero on the scale, but how is the scale determined? Well its simple, a gay guys gayness is directly determined by his level of disdain for sports/physical competition, exercise level, and love for Streisand. The higher the disdain for sports the gayer, the lower the exercise level the gayer, and the more they love streisand well, the worst their taste in women lmao. So all those gay dudes in hollywood at the gym all the time are only moderately gay, so them dudes need to step the poo-pushing game up, and transvestites are still fucking assholes (probably a bad choice of words). So just to have a sort of working scale here, the more out of shape the gay guy, almost invariably the gayer his accent. Why is that? I mean, they're already scoring a Liberace on the Gayness scale so why go over the top. I don't have an explanation for this quite yet but it may have something to do with over-compensation, kinda like middle-aged white guys with small dicks and super expensive cars. Well anyway, thats my theory, postulate whatever you wanna call it, if you take offense to this, or just have a suggestion remember to send it to someone who gives a fuck.